


When everything is too much

by theonetruenorth



Series: Shadowhunters headcanons [10]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Embedded Images, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Praise Kink, Sub Alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 10:49:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7358212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theonetruenorth/pseuds/theonetruenorth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus sees the signs that something went wrong as soon as Alec crosses the threshold to the apartment. From the way he tosses his keys to the basket by the door, barely hitting the target, to the way he shrugs off his leather jacket. It seems that every move is like a herculean effort, calculated and rehearsed. When he looks at Magnus the warlock can see the dullness in his eyes, the blankness that he doesn’t like one bit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When everything is too much

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [When everything is too much](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11038458) by [Batty_Blue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batty_Blue/pseuds/Batty_Blue)



  


Magnus sees the signs that something went wrong as soon as Alec crosses the threshold to the apartment. From the way he tosses his keys to the basket by the door, barely hitting the target, to the way he shrugs off his leather jacket. It seems that every move is like a herculean effort, calculated and rehearsed. When he looks at Magnus the warlock can see the dullness in his eyes, the blankness that he doesn’t like one bit.

“Welcome home, darling,” Magnus says when Alec closes the distance between them. He stands on his toes to press a slow, tender kiss to Alec’s lips. It’s a gentle, closed-mouth kiss, nothing but a show of affection and love, and Alec sags against him. He makes a quiet, relieved sound that Alec probably is not even aware of making.

“You look awfully tired.” Magnus runs his hands through Alec’s dark hair, fingers scratching lightly against his scalp. Alec leans into it, touch-starved, and Magnus’ heart breaks. “Why don’t you go take a bath and we’ll call it an early night, hmm?”

Ales nods against his hand, leaning in for a second to press their foreheads together before separating and heading for the bathroom. Listening to Magnus’ requests is easy, something he doesn’t have to question. It starts filling his head with white noise, something he desperately needs after the day he had.

Magnus makes a couple of quick calls to postpone the meetings and clients he still had scheduled for the rest of the day. None of them are important enough that they can’t wait. If someone doesn’t like it... well. They can find themselves another high warlock, thank you very much.

By the time he joins Alec in the bathroom, the younger man is already soaking in the tub, nearly-scalding water reaching up to his neck. He looks a bit more relaxed, almost on the verge of sleep, but Magnus knows that he’s too wired up to rest. Magnus sits on the edge of the tub, rolls up his shirt sleeves and nudges Alec until he shifts forward. Magnus grabs a soft cloth and begins washing Alec’s back, starting at the nape of his neck. Alec shivers as some of the tension drains from his shoulders.

“Care to tell me what got you in such tizzy?” the warlock asks, using the cloth to gently pour warm water over the tight muscles. Alec makes a short, aborted sound, clearly not in a mood for talking.

“Alexander,” Magnus says, his voice still calm and gentle but with a tone of steel underneath it, something that makes it clear he won’t be denied, “that wasn’t really a request.”

Alec flinches, a full-body jerk that disturbs the water and Magnus places a soothing hand at the base of his neck, his thumb stroking over warm skin.

“Please,” Alec eventually mutters, head resting on his knees as he curls up more, and Magnus hates seeing him like this, “I really don’t want to talk about it.”

Magnus sighs.

“Alright. I’ll let it go for now. But don’t think I’ll forget - we’re going to talk when you’re feeling better,” he says, giving Alec’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Tilt your head back, love. Let me wash your hair.”

Later on, after the bath, when they are resting on the bed Alec is shaking. Magnus doesn’t ask him what’s wrong or if he needs something. He’s perfectly aware of what it is that Alec needs. It’s exactly the same thing he wants when the pressure gets intolerable. When the Clave demands too many things from him; when everyone around Alec just takes and takes and takes and Alec is breaking into hundreds of little pieces trying to please _everyone_. He is a loyal soldier, a dutiful son, a fierce protector - and sometimes, it just gets _too much_.

Magnus kisses him while they are lying down, a slow but demanding kiss, Magnus possessing it completely. Alec opens up to him with a sigh, giving up any control he might have had. He’s swept along for the ride, Magnus tasting him at his own pace and it’s wonderful.

“Raise your hands up for me,” Magnus whispers as they break apart. Alec doesn’t even need to think about it, his arms moving up and towards the headboard, almost like a muscle memory at this point. Magnus smiles at him. “Always so quick to listen. Thank you, darling.”

Alec shivers again, but it’s a good shiver this time, the kind that Magnus wants to see more of. He closes one palm over Alec’s crossed wrists, just holding them for a minute while he kisses him, savoring the feeling of how Alec is _not_ fighting it. He conjures a length of blue silk rope that twists around Alec’s wrists on its own, a firm hold that binds him in that very position.

“See if it’s not too tight,” Magnus says and Alec tests the hold and apparently satisfied with it, he nods. “Perfect.”

They’ve done it enough times by now that Magnus doesn’t need to ask what Alec wants - he knows and he’s happy to give it to him. Alec is reduced to non-verbal communication anyways, with the way that Magnus is taking him apart and putting him back together, piece by piece.

Magnus keeps up a steady stream of words. He knows that the sound of his voice brings peace to Alec’s mind, drowning out all other thoughts. He tells Alec how amazing he looks when he’s not wearing anything. He loves the embarrassed flush that spreads from Alec’s face down his neck and chest. He praises the sweet noise that Alec makes when he leans down to lick at one nipple, and encourages the moans that fill the room once he swallows Alec’s cock to the root.

Magnus is cautious with his words, as always, choosing them carefully. One sign of derogatory talk can send Alec spiraling from his positive head space into ugly anxiety in matter of seconds, a fact he learned the hard way. Pain is also a huge turn-off, unless it’s the small, good kind of pain. A light, playful smack on his ass, a love bite at the column of his neck or a teasing twist of a nipple, just on the perfect edge of pleasure and discomfort - those were all okay, if used in moderation.

When Alec’s like this he doesn’t want to be degraded or hurt, he wants to be loved and cherished and appreciated. All those things that he didn’t get to experience for so long. He’s putting his faith, his love, his sanity, and all the control he has over himself in Magnus’ hands. Each and every single time like this is an exercise in trust for him, a leap into the unknown.

And Magnus would never abuse the power he holds over Alec’s heart. The thought that he could do it, even involuntarily, makes him sick to his stomach. He feels the need to comfort, to shower this lovely, honest, _extraordinary_ young man with all the care and attention he can muster.

“You’re doing so well, love,” Magnus whispers against Alec’s ear. Alec grinds down on two of his fingers, groaning as they bump into his prostate on every third or fourth thrust. “You look beautiful like this. You think you can take another?”

Alec only nods, mouth hanging open as he gasps and then a quiet whine slips out of him as Magnus pushes another finger inside. Everything is hot and wet and deliciously filthy. Magnus’ voice fills his head, wrapping around his mind like dozens of layers of thick cotton, soft and protective.

“You’re being such a good boy for me, Alexander.” The words whispered against his skin sound pleased, satisfied and proud. Alec keens, feeling them settle into his very core and warming him up from the inside. He feels like he’s burning but it’s a good burn, a welcome burn.

Alec forgets about the Institute, about the threat of looming war, and the patrol he had dispatched that got ambushed and nearly killed.  He forgets all about the hunter who ended up with an amputated leg because of it. He forgets about the feeling of guilt (even though the logical part of his mind tells him he couldn’t have known), and the overwhelming feeling of failure that nearly made him retch.

Underneath the weight of Magnus’ voice all of that melts away, leaving him calm, empty, and ready to be filled with the love and adoration that’s tangible in every single word that pours right into his soul.

“Come on, gorgeous.” Magnus kisses him and Alec can do nothing but whimper into his mouth, too far gone for words. Magnus is mercilessly rubbing against his prostate, has been for some time now, and some part of Alec - the part that still is capable of thinking - knows that he’s not going to last much longer.

“I want to see you come.” Magnus pushes his fingers in deeper, if that’s even possible, the tips just _pressing_ against him in the best way. Alec’s back arches as electricity shoots down his spine. “Right. Now.”

And how can Alec do anything else but obey?

When he comes back to his senses it’s to the sound of magic snapping above his head, the tight hold of the ropes vanishing. There are hands massaging the circulation back into his wrists, where Alec is sure there are marks but nothing that won't go away on its own in an hour or two.

He melts against Magnus when the warlock pulls him in close, making Alec rest his head on his chest.

“You did so good, Alexander.” Magnus’ voice is happy and proud and that makes Alec happy as well, makes him float in the serene, warm ocean of nothingness that fills his mind right then. “Just sleep for now, love.”

Alec is pliant and soft and there’s not even a hint of tension in his body, the previous fear and regret and anxiety all but forgotten, for now. Magnus knows that his issues didn’t magically go away but they can deal with them in the morning.

Alec falls asleep with his mind still carefully blank, the bedroom quiet and calm, and Magnus’ heartbeat a steady rhythm in his ears.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Every fic in this series is first posted to my tumblr and I upload it to AO3 with a delay. If you want to read my stories as soon as I finish them, follow me there: theonetruenorth.tumblr.com
> 
> Beta-read by [brizzbee](http://brizzbee.tumblr.com/)


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